Teaism -- two lumps of courtesy please

It seems that lately everything related to the nation's capital is unsavory. Are we losing our distinct label of class and conservatism? Before I get too far away, let me clue you in on a situtation. Beware: you will be privy to as many details as I have and left to jump to your own, informed, conclusion.

Teaism is a "teahouse" in DC with several locations. I have nicknamed them the "Starbucks of Tea." It's a tea lover's dream store. You can purchase teas and snacks and ... sorry, I'm drooling on the keyboard. I can sum it up with -- I really like this place. Or, at least I did.

MeetUp is a website that helps you meet people so that you can get off the internet (novel idea for all those laptop potatoes out there). There are literally thousands of groups in every hobby/interest area imaginable and most regularly hold "meetups" (events) in and around the area. Depending on the group, some are outdoors or potluck, the location may vary. But for many groups including knitters and book clubs, they tend to choose quiet settings with good food and drink. Many have partnered with Teaism.

According to Teaism's website in the Events section, "We host meetings and gatherings for many groups: board meetings for volunteer groups, networking gatherings, training meetings, speed dating sessions, panel discussions for professional associations. If you have a group that needs a location for a gathering, or if you would like Teaism to cater your next special event, please call..."

I've always known them to be accomodating and extremely helpful whenever I've attended functions there or stopped in for a quick cup of "Jill" (my tea alternative to "joe" for coffee...ok, it's lame but so what).  Anywho...I was surprised, disturbed, dismayed and a host of other unhappy adjectives when I read the following email from the Co-owner of Teaism to a MeetUp group owner.

"I have nothing different to say than what I told you when you brought your group to Teaism for a three hour lunch.  Meet-ups have overwhelmed our restaurant.  We do not want Meet-ups or any groups visiting our restarant with the focus of meeting and not dining.  We are a restaurant.  I'm sure there are restaurants that are suffering and need your groups $100.  I'm sorry if you don't get it.  When you own your restaurant and are forced to make these decisions you may make them based on your sense of what good service is.  I am running a business and make business decisions.  And you can believe that I know how to do the math.  I appreciate that you have alerted the Meet-Up List to our dilemma.  It may reduce the pressure of my managers to micro-manage each and every group having "meetings" in my restaurant.  I can understand your indignation, but Teaism has been dealing with "Meet-Ups" for years now.  We are clear about how this all works."

After reading this, I was outraged.  Besides wanting to tear each sentence apart and make her severely eat her words, I also wanted to point out some very poor business habits that are surfacing early on in the life of her "restaurant."   Teaism has only been open since 1996, don't go thinking you're a DC staple just yet.  The only thing I really wish to address via this blog, besides her clear lack of customer service skills, is her lack of business-savvy.  You have not only put your feelings in writing but you've sent it electronically.  Does she not know her history -- the number of businessmen who have been brought down due to an email or memo?  Tsk, tsk, tsk...

What's next for Teaism?  What's next for MeetUp?  What's next for my blog?

Stay safe...until next time.

I'm Thankful!

Now that the holidays have begun, I've had some time to think back over the past year and realize my blessings. My motto for 2009 was Make It Happen and in many ways I did. I achieved many of the goals I'd placed on my list for the year and I'm thankful for that. I have noticed though, that I feel a bit unfulfilled. Let me elaborate: I volunteer at the Kennedy Center once a week and though I've met some very nice people, enjoyed some wonderful shows and been involved in some great events, I just don't feel I am "giving" enough. By popular opinion, most of the patrons pretty much have it "together."

Now I'm not looking to become Mother Teresa or Mahatma Ghandi or even MLK, but I would like to be of more assistance to those in need -- those who can better benefit from the varied skill-sets I possess. So, even though I have personal goals for 2010, my motto is simple -- Be An Inspiration. I'm not quite sure how I'll go about it but I will do my best to "let my light so shine..."

That said, one of my major goals for next year is to build my portfolio. Yeah, I'm thinking early retirement folks and with no offspring to scratch my back and feed me strained peas, I'll have to find a way to pay for such luxuries. So between CDs at my local bank and varied stocks and bonds, I'll be building a financial portfolio in the next 12 months. Beware: I'll be sharing the information with you. Feel free to send tips my way too -- unless you're Martha Stewart or that guy from Enron.

I've come a long way from where I was just a few short years ago -- mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

To close, I want to share the following (thanks Stacy):

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. (Albert Schweitzer)

Thanks to those who have challenged me to be better, kindly (or not so kindly) spoken the truth when staying silent would have been easier, and loved me unconditionally during my transformation.

May the best of your 2009 be the worst of your 2010.

Thanksgiving Food Giveaway

I heard about it...now, you're hearing it too.

Please feel free to pass this info to any and all you think may not only need the assistance, but those who may know others who do as well.

Thanksgiving Day

November 26, 2009

12pm-5pm

LePearl Ballroom

7929 Central Avenue

Capitol Heights, MD 20743

(301) 333-8500

Times are tough for many, but don't let that spoil your "Thanksgiving" joy. Bring the entire family and joion us for a "Free" Thanksgiving Dinner. Don't stress over buying food or cooking it! Come and eat some delicious food prepared by professional chefs, while you mix and mingle with others, meet new friends and make some priceless memories. This event is open to all and is free. Only requirement is that you make a reservation by calling
Valencia Davis @ (301) 917-5391 or Barbara (202) 210-6147.

Please pass this information on to churches, senior homes, nursing homes, community organizations and people in the neighborhoods. This event is for all MD, DC & VA.

Hip Hop Education and Sistas United are also Co-Sponsors of this event so if you have nay questions, you can call us as well.
Sabrina Wiggins @ HHE (240) 460-2571 or Wessita McKinley @ SU (240) 423-0958.

It's a Shame

Riding METRO becomes more and more frustrating each time I board. This morning being the latest episode in frustration. Let me spell it out for you -- I'll change some information to protect...um, who exactly am I protecting...oh well, I'll just change some information.

I boarded a RED line train this morning headed towards Grosvenor. I was instantly accosted by Unruly Child. She was in the doorway playing. I tried to go around this wee bit of insurgence to no avail. Finally, I said "excuse me sweetie" and proceeded to brush past her -- trying to bump her head into the pole -- to an empty seat. Mother Ignorant watched this entire episode while yakking loudly into her cell phone (who the heck are you talking to so early in the morning!!!!) and repeatedly screaming at Unruly to have a seat somewhere. Somewhere? Huh?

I proceed to an empty seat only to have my private space infiltrated by the elbow of Home Office Man. He was sprawled across two seats with his legs crossed and several pages of the paper opened as he read (or looked at the pictures) of one full page spread. Really? I didn't know you could be quite so discourteous in public. Whatever happened to "treat others as I'd like to be treated"? Is it Courtesy lying next to Chivalry in the graveyard?

But that's not it. The clincher was Apathetic Driver Boy. He seemed to drone out the name of the line and stops as if he had a million other things on his mind and a wish to be anywhere else. Can't say that I blamed him since, at that moment, I totally agreed. The pinnacle of his apathy was shown when he made an announcement, between chews, regarding the next stop. You have got to be kidding me!!!

All of this to get to work -- where they plot to harass me for 7.50 hours. All I can say is this -- watch out evening commuters. It's definitely ON!

In Memoriam

It has been ten years since I lost my Big Ma. I've learned to live with her in my spirit, to keep her words in my heart and allow her teachings to touch my life. While I miss her deeply, I am sometimes glad she has slept through some of the most tragic events our generation has seen -- such as 9/11 and the demolition of the Twin Towers, pirates, snipers and more -- as well as some of our more celebratory events including the election and Inauguration of President Barack Obama.

Of course, there are more personal/private events that she was not a part of including births, deaths, marriages, divorces, illnesses...times when I would have loved to hear her words of comfort and know that she understood and offered support. Those are the times when I miss her most, no matter what I remember her saying to others in similar situations, it's not the same as hearing her say it directly to me in the present. In short, I miss my Big Ma.

I'm sure this sounds selfish and that there are others who miss her too but I needed to remember her in my own way. For those of you who have a Big Mama, cherish her while you can. For those of you who no longer have her with you physically, hold your memories near and dear.

Until next time...

101 Goals – 365 days later

Update: I have not been sticking to my list.

The mission to complete 101 tasks in a period of 1001 has not gone very well in the first 365 days. While some goals have been accomplished, others have fallen through the cracks.

I have journaled consistently about my experience though I have created a calendar to set smaller achievement dates for specific goals. I’ve read some self help material and have saved money tremendously, thanks to cutting back on media purchases. I haven’t, however, exercised or completed craft projects or whitened my teeth.

I’ve cut out sodas, thanks to the “no soda for 60 days” goal and I volunteer regularly but I have neither kept a food diary nor pampered myself properly. I’ve taken road trips, tried new restaurants and donated clothes but I haven’t begun to learn a new language.

The most consistent goal has been my Daily book of Positive Thoughts. This has added to my life’s “down” moments in the past year in ways that can hardly be put into words. I’ve also become quite good at deleting emails and finding new websites. I’ve read 4 books from the Essential Black books list, 2 from the Modern Library’s Top 100 list and watched 43 movies from the AFI top 100 list.

Today, I plan to do better. To start, I will review my list daily (which is goal #80) as I think this will help keep my goals fresh in my mind. I plan to also add an “unofficial” goal of blogging about my progress on a more regular basis. So, how about every…6 weeks? Yeah, I think that will be just fine. Gotta set my calendar before I forget…

29 completed (some goals are on-going)
Entire list (http://thephoenixdj.blogspot.com/2008/09/101-in-1001.html)

The 75¢ Experiment

Has anyone noticed that a variety of people – not all homeless or apparently destitute – approach different riders at varying stops and quietly request 75¢?

This has been happening for approximately three weeks and I’ve been analyzing the activity: older women, younger men, older men, younger women, varying races, times of day and the people they proposition have no set pattern either. They ignore the fact that you have on headphones (the international sign for the purposeful ignoring of any/all persons within close proximity) or the conversation you’re engrossed in with your neighbor. They seem willing to risk public ridicule and verbal thrashing – all for 75¢.

I’m astonished, befuddled, quizzically searching the cobwebs of my mind for anything worth 75¢ in today’s society. Even if that’s how much it would cost to exit the subway, sheer pride would force me to try for $1 at least. Furthermore, there aren’t too many cash-carriers left in our fear-laden society and of those I doubt they’d stop whatever they’re doing to search purses and pockets for loose change. Maybe that’s the hook – while you’re preoccupied, they beat you over the head. Hmmm…you never know nowadays.

But my heart nearly breaks every time I hear the plea – even though my lips are poised to ask several of the questions posed above. But I promise you, the next time I have 75¢…

Brown Feet

I just returned from Montego Bay, Jamaica and it was one of the best vacations I've had so far. Want to know why? BROWN FEET!

I know, I know. You're thinking -- "she's black, of course she has brown feet".
Au contraire. Regardless of how much sun I get during the summer, I've always suffered from "white feet." My feet simply don't tan enough to blend with the color of my summer body.

But not this time. This time I have beautifully sun-ripened feet. I may need to do Jamaica every summer!

Racism Takes the Blame Again

Just because you’re educated, respected and lauded as the country’s pre-eminent black scholar, does not excuse you from poor judgment, bad behavior or ineffectively throwing the race card. Henry Louis Gates, Jr.'s situation is appalling.

Gates has proven that he lives in a neighborhood where the residents pay attention and care enough to call law enforcement when something is suspicious. Is he purposely looking to destroy that last thread that holds society together? It’s better than receiving a Twitter message about the house that got broken into – only to find that it’s yours that’s being discussed.

Gates has shown that reaching higher levels of education cause you to believe that you’re unlike the rest of us and the rules no longer apply. It is never proper behavior to become irate with the police. There are others ways to rectify a situation.

Gates has shown that the race card is futile. Thanks to the crusaders of the 60’s who fought for our civil rights (Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, etc.), we have shown our multi-cultural peers that when we can’t otherwise handle our affairs, we have a safety net. We can accuse any and every one of racism, bias and profiling.

When will cooler heads prevail?

Over - Authorization

Some businesses employ a practice called over-authorization on your credit card. The purpose of this is to ensure that, should you choose to leave a tip on your card, the money is available. Therefore, if your bill is $100 and the recommended tip is $10, your card will be authorized for $110. Conversely, if you don't have the entire amount available, your card is declined.
The interesting thing is --no one tells you this! Is this an acceptable business practice?

I don't think so because I may only have $100 available on that credit card and plan to pay for any "incidentals" differently. But that option is not communicated to me. By the way, I found out about this by checking my bank account online and finding a discrepancy from what I wrote on the receipt and what was pending payment in my account. After getting this wonderful explanation from the hospitality manager, I still found it odd that this is a common practice. I don't think that mainstream America is aware and I have a feeling that many won't like it.
Let's share the knowledge by forwarding something meaningful.

Until next time...

10 for $25 at Victoria’s Secret

FYI

If you have this coupon, throw it out.

What they don’t tell you on the BioFit mailer is this: 10 for $25 applies to last season’s panties. This season’s VS Cotton panties are 5 for $25. Wait, so were last season’s -- the original price. Point of the matter is, they totally advertised it incorrectly.

Resolutions: Shopping at stores in more affluent areas will get you 30% off of your purchase. Complaining via the web will get you a 30% off coupon for your next purchase.

I’d advise you to read the fine print.

Book Review - Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

We often make snap judgements about things based on prior information. That may be the case with this book. Steve Harvey states in the beginning of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that he's a comedian, not a writer. He's also a man and has an inside track on some of the general thought processes in regards to women. By giving this book my stamp of approval (as if that means anything to you), I am not claiming that he speaks the unequivocal truth. It is, however, quite insightful and his tone and verbage makes it seem you're having a private chat with him as opposed to reading it on paper; a wonderful tactic.

You never know where you will gain some morsel of wisdom. Being open to the empirical and theoretical knowledge of a comedian offers a slightly different take on the differences between the sexes.

I endorse this book for several reasons:

• Standards and Requirements: Let the man be a man. Let him take you out, let him pay, etc.
• Why Men Cheat: Because they can and women make it easy, among other reasons.
• Strong, Independent Women: Gotta read this one for yourself. But a sneak peek -- let the man be a man.
• Quick Answers: Steve gives frank and honest answers from his point of view to questions that we've all wanted to ask our male friends. They are quite insightful.

I implore everyone to read this book. I have several ladies to whom I'll be sending the e-book.

Need A Painter? Too cool not to share. Enjoy!

Before photo: -
A typical concrete & stucco facade

Then the wall starts to take on a 3-dimensional appearance:

This is Eric, in his element, 30' off the ground.

He does most of the artwork by himself & researches,

paints and designs each project from scratch.
His wife Kathy, also an artist, Serves as project manager.

After photo: Finished product

MORE BELOW!

Here are some more examples of Eric's projects:
Great American Crossroad - Bucyrus , Ohio

Before photo:

After photo:

Before photos:

After photo: - Liberty Remembers

Hard to believe you're looking at a flat 2-dimensional wall.

How to dress up a drab Shopping Mall in Niagara , NY state

Before photo:

After photo:

Also, look at the close-up of the left side:

And the middle:

(I wonder how many birds fly into this wall on a daily basis?)

Indoor Murals at the Hallway of Miller Brewery...
Before: Miller Fermenting Rooms

Past meets Present in the Miller Brewery Fermenting Rooms.
Hooks, clipboards and aprons were added to the surface of the murals to enhance the illusion...
After photos:

You're looking at FLAT walls!
Detail view looking down the illusional hallway in the previous mural:

SIMPLY AMAZING, ISN'T IT?
I wonder how many people walk into the walls, while trying to go down a hallway that does not exist!

Pull Them Up

I'll be the first to admit that I've never truly been into hip-hop and urban fashions. Color me a conservative sista with flavorful shoes. I'll be that. My own fashion faux pas leads to much of my disdain for the saggy pants fad. When will it fade away. I thought with the "skinny leg" tight look I wouldn't be subjected to scrungy-looking boxers and briefs in public anymore. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I have recently viewed young men wearing what can only be termed as a baby tee with boxers and tight jeans pulled down up under the butt (and yes I have camera phone pictures for my personal giggling pleasures). What exactly is the purpose of this? It was always my thought that in order to wear these "styles" you must not carry a wallet. What message does that send?

I have been judgmental -- and I like me that way. While I am not stuffy enough to ignore you, I do have some direct questions to ask. I'm dissatisfied with the "I'm expressing my individuality" response because the look is so widespread we could start another We Are the World movement. In an effort to do more than just talk, I ask young men why they feel the need to wear it. Some of you are so influenced by the media that you think everyone who dresses that way is some sort of criminal and is ready to murder and maim. That's not the case and most of the gentlemen I've spoken with have been rendered speechless and entered into deep thought. Great! Mission Accomplished.

However, our black males are so used to being scrutinized by women and they sometimes ignore it. So, we need our brothers to step it up. That said, those of you who wear your pants like Urkel may not wish to speak up unless you have skin as tough as steel. But there are so many others of you with jobs and families and children of your own who can set a better example and say something more profound than all the women in the world using all the words in the world. In the meantime, I heard a picture is worth 1000 words.

Here are 3000 to start you off.

A Better Way (Goals & Aspirations)

I’ll admit my guilty pleasure if you promise to keep it to yourself. Here it is – talk shows. Jerry Springer is my favorite one. We’ll have to go over the pros and cons of great shows past and present but not today. Today, I’m deeply saddened.

On an episode of Jerry Springer was a young lady, barely 21, who labeled herself a “ho.” She was attractive and articulate and her story puzzled me. She met her pimp when she was 17 but he told her he couldn’t even talk to her until she was legal and waited until her 18th birthday to call her. They began to date until the time came for her to “take care of him” due to another “ho’s” disappearance.

The sad part came when she told Jerry that she came on the show to make her pimp choose between her and another ho. She wasn’t interested in living a meaningful life and offering something to her community, leaving a legacy for her son. I’m almost positive that she wont’ read this blog but I wish there was a way to interest her in something else – something better. I pray that she finds some goals and hope that she envisions some aspirations.

How can we help guide our youth?

In My Own Way...

For the first time, I’ve had to delete a phone number from my contact list. Tragedy has struck my family and God is the only soother for this pain. Over the years, I’ve witnessed the pain of others whose lives were touched by violence via the media – never knowing when my turn would come.

Some think it’s amazing that I’ve grown up in Washington, DC yet have very little first-hand knowledge of the seedier side of life. I call it anointing. A long time ago, somebody prayed that this family be covered by the hand of God and that grace has followed us for years.
Unfortunately, my family circle has been broken by violence.

My pain is raw, it’s rugged, its real. I can’t wish it on anyone else though I know there are others who share it, bear it along with me. Thank you for your prayers.

Is this acceptable?

Background Information:

A cartoon likening the author of the stimulus bill, perhaps President Barack Obama, with a rabid chimpanzee graced the pages of the New York Post on Wednesday.
The drawing, from famed cartoonist Sean Delonas, is rife with violent imagery and racial undertones. In it, two befuddled-looking police officers holding guns look over the dead and bleeding chimpanzee that attacked a woman in Stamford, Connecticut.
"They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill," reads the caption.
An email to Delonas and a call to the New York Post went unreturned. The cartoon appears both on the New York Post website and page 12 of the Wednesday paper.
At its most benign, the cartoon suggests that the stimulus bill was so bad, monkeys may as well have written it. Others believe it compares the president to a rabid chimp. Either way, the incorporation of violence and (on a darker level) race into politics is bound to be controversial. Perhaps that's what Delonas wanted.

UPDATE: Rev. Al Sharpton has weighed in on the cartoon in a statement:
"The cartoon in today's New York Post is troubling at best given the historic racist attacks of African-Americans as being synonymous with monkeys. One has to question whether the cartoonist is making a less than casual reference to this when in the cartoon they have police saying after shooting a chimpanzee that "Now they will have to find someone else to write the stimulus bill."
"Being that the stimulus bill has been the first legislative victory of President Barack Obama (the first African American president) and has become synonymous with him it is not a reach to wonder are they inferring that a monkey wrote the last bill?"

The picture depicts racial over- and under-tones. Here we are -- years after slavery is over, in the "land of the free, home of the brave," the great American melting pot -- still resorting to name-calling. I must agree with our new Black US Attorney General Eric Holder terming Americans "cowards." When will we stop hiding behind slurs and pictures and become true Americans who realize that we are all created equal? But, racism in America is so commonplace that this instance registers no surprise. (To Rev. Sharpton - as if he'd read this -- I'd say, I'm sure many Americans agree with the sentiment expressed. But while a "monkey" may have initiated this stimulus plan, a whole lot of barnyard animals are going to benefit from it.)

Comedic references to the President is par for the course. I've been waiting for the funny-men to come out of hiding and let loose on the race jokes about our bi-racial President. I'll be the first to admit that light-hearted ribbing is good for the soul. We enjoy making fun of ourselves and those in power.

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gives us the right to free speech. Because of this, I'm willing to accept this sketch based on the above comments. However, what I deem unacceptable is the allusion to our Commander in Chief being gunned down. Isn't this dangerously close to treason? Has a sitting President ever been depicted in this way? What we need to ask ourselves is why we allow such behavior.

Of course, the paper doesn't see anything wrong -- their economy was stimulated via this cartoon. If Don Imus could lose his job for calling a group of Black women "nappy headed hoes," what should happen to the man who disrespects our Head of State? Every instance of anyone publicly making a derogatory statement about an ethnic group is deftly resolved (some inappropriately). What makes this one any different?

The Silent generation --> people born before 1946.

The Baby Boomers --> people born between 1946 and 1959.

Generation X --> people born between 1960 and 1979.

Generation Y --> people born between 1980 and 1995.

Why do we call the last one generation Y?

I did not know, but the cartoonist explains it eloquently.

METRO Service Announcement – from a fellow METRO Rider

re-post

Here are some suggestions for METRO riders that may make our METRO rides better. Take a look and add a few if you like.

• Impatience gets you no where. Leaning over the tracks, looking into the tunnel and screaming "where's the train" will neither make it magically appear nor make up time when it does. Get over it.
• Parents: If you are going to let your kids act a dam fool then all parents should choose a car (1-6) and label it the DayCareCar, or something similar, so that those of us who wish to ride in peace can avoid you.
• Those of you who stand in front of the doors but are neither entering nor exiting the train, will no longer be eligible to ride METRO until you attend METRO Rider Etiquette Classes. These classes are also for folks who lean over the tracks looking for the train and those who STAND on the WALK side of the escalator.
• Those folks who put their feet in the seats will forfeit their seat. You have paid for one seat on METRO. You cannot take up another seat by sitting sideways or putting your feet up and causing other customers to ask YOU to move over. You can take the etiquette classes too.
• If your belongings don't/won't fit on your lap, don't bring it with you. (This includes strollers unless you are gonna do that DayCareCar thing).
• If you have Wild Hair/Clothing/Otherwise Outrageous Features, we are looking at you, talking about you and laughing at you. Get over it. You wore it, don't expect us to ignore it. Stop saying aloud "why she staring at me?" It only causes us to laugh harder.
• Fat People (yeah I said it, forget that PC crap). If you know you can't fit in a row by yourself, don't torture others by forcing them to ride squeezed up next to the window praying that they don't die of suffocation. Also, your sweat on other people, their clothing or belongings – a no-no.
• Cell Phone Users: Be serious. Even if the call is urgent – what can you do from the subway? And telling your girl about your married boyfriend -- we really don't want to hear that.
• If you haven't washed any portion of your body, do not sit next to us. We are tying to go to work, daycare, grandma's – somewhere where funk is not on the menu. Don't sit next to us and then try to be all friendly. We're smiling to make it easier to breathe thru our mouths. Sit in the end cars, closest to the exits. NEVER sit in the DayCareCar – you'd set a BAD EXAMPLE!

Please report any suspicious activity and thank you for riding METRO.

Disclaimer: The views set forth by this writer are not necessarily the views of the Washington Area METRO (but they should be).

Dinner and Discussions

Barely a week before what's being billed as the most historic Inauguration ceremony ever, Washington is teeming with energy. While enjoying dinner at an Afghan restaurant in the heart of the city, tucked away from the bitter January cold, a group of women discuss Dreams from My Father.

It's the first time that this group - comprised of different ages and ethnicities, backgrounds, geographic and socioeconomic frames of reference - has had the opportunity to chat abou tthe memoirs of a President-Elect. Some feel soothed by the candor and depth the novel allows, while others believe the highest office elicits a personal mystique.

Commenting on the forward-thinking grandparents (their approval of an inter-racial marriage and the probability of their overcompensation for any ill feelings by creating a larger than life image of an absent father), the resulting relationship of all of the siblings, the ladies interacted and voiced their overall enjoyment of the book. With themes similar to Black Boy and The Invisible Man, the author divulged his issues with identity and destiny in a manner tha may have been more guarded had he known he'd become the 44th U.S. President.

I was more absorbed with some of the parallels -- the street corner barber who was awestruck and energized by the new Black politician in Chicago and the pride in the eyes of my peers and elders when we speak of Obama's coming Presidency.

During dinner, the conversation shifted to Inauguration plans as street closings, security check points, visitors, tickets, schedules and parties were shared. While it may be more logical to view television from the warmth and comfort of our respective homes, the general consensus was to be a part of the over-crowded excitement.

In the months to come we'll fade back into the shadows and mull over other novels and authors (their nuances and inspirations, their disappointments and lack of style) and enjoy normal life once again -- as normal as it ever is in Washington, DC.

101 Update

So, I've dropped the ball. I have kept up with some of the items on my checklist but others have fallen by the wayside. I'll be honest, because I'm hoping to get the feedback/encouragement that I need to continue. I know I have to do more than just the parts I enjoy.

I haven't been journaling regularly about the experience though I have been watching the movies on the AFI list. I haven't been writing my weekly letter but I have been keeping up with my weekly beauty treatments. I've managed to complete some of the more elusive items as well including star gazing and finding a charity to envelope (more about this later). Reading the books from the lists is moving slowly because I'm still reading self help materials. I'm becoming more active with my reading groups and making srides regarding my business. This month, I begin reading the dictionary - one letter per month.

I find this an interesting exercise that causes me to expand my beyond my usual capacity and get more things done. No excuses, I've got to do better. I've got to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

In case you'd like to see how others do it, check out this site --> http://onehundredandonethings.wordpress.com. I'm thrilled by the way she categorized her goals. Check it out and think of your own list. Until next time...

FAT Again...

Obviously, Oprah is tired of counting her money and needs something to occupy her time -- and boost ratings. So we are back on the fat wagon -- pun intended. In an effort not to criticize people and their actions this year, I'll keep this one simple. Leave it alone Oprah (as if she listens to me).

Big girls are in! (Or so I heard.) Get healthy and get fit, but most of all resign yourself to the fact that you'll never be a size 2 or 4 and be healthy. I'm not saying to simply let yourself go and gain 200 more pounds. However, this is nothing to beat yourself up about or discuss on different news shows. Oprah is a role model for women everywhere -- an intelligent, Black, wealthy, business-savvy, fat role model. I wish Dr. Phil would chime in on this one.

Giving

It's not what you gather but what you scatter.

Giving is a great feeling; knowing that you've touched someone in a special way, an intangible way. It's very rewarding and I got a wonderful idea from my supervisor. She came up with a list of favorites that she sent to her contacts and let them know that during this year she planned to GIVE and we'd be the receivers (Boy am I glad I was on the list!). So, she's set an example for me and I think I'll try my hand at it. Sorry, I mis-spoke. It's 2009 and I will MAKE IT HAPPEN!

The happiest people don't have the best of everything,
they MAKE the best of everything.

I know that I'm a week away from poverty, homelessness and a life of despair (but for the grace of God), yet I plan to give what I can with a clear conscience and an open heart. All I want in return is abundant happiness. I believe that sadness manifests itself physically and I've had enough of ailments and illnesses. That said, I am in the business of making happiness for myself by sharing happiness with others.

The difference between goals and dreams is
goals have an action plan attached.

My Giving Action Plan
I will send out an email requesting information from person's in my email contact list. These persons will be contacted throughout the year with small surprises. Maybe you'll get one.

Our Children

A friend requested that I post this on my blog site (so here goes):

I just saw the nastiest thing- a little boy hawk-spit on the floor. When I
said "come here" he replies "Naw, I'm from the hood."He and his homeboy crew
laughed. Before I knew it I said that"that was some n**-s** there that you did."
His homie was like"N**? You know he could sue you for saying that?" My response - "go ahead!" How can someone act like a n** yet get offended when called out on it? Everybody is so overjoyed that we have a Black President but after what just happened today, we still have far to go.

She didn't authorize me to expound on it...but this is MY blog, so I think I can take some poetic license here. Besides, I'm sure she won't mind (smiles). Let me give you a bit of background first. We used to teach school together. She still does; situations like the one she described are why I no longer do. We are all aware that teaching is a thankless job that requires you to wear many hats including parent, counselor, therapist, friend, confidante, disciplinarian, and role-model all while trying to impart the necessary information to shape young minds. It's more than a job and it takes a special person to do it.

That said, we are often faced with situations that are termed "teachable moments" when you try to show a child a better way but your personal frustrations surface. What do you do then? I've been meaning to blog about the state of this generation and this is the perfect opportunity. Watch your toes out there -- I've thrown out the cut cards!

Parents are the blame for this generation. We are so busy worrying about our kids liking us, making sure they have everything they want and being friends with them, that we have forgotten that we need to tell them no. Everyone cannot be whatever they want. Tell them early so that we won't have to read about them killing a bunch of classmates when they find out for themselves and can't handle it.

Look at the recent news stories -- 4 year old kills babysitter with a shotgun for stepping on his foot; 4 year old shoots babysitter because she told him NO; 6 year old drives himself to school (in his mom's car) because he missed the school bus. Is this acceptable behavior from our children? I didn't think of driving my parent's car without permission at 16 or 26 or 36 for that matter. I can't imagine thinking that was a good idea AND going through with it at 6!

But let's address the issues my friend brought up. "You know he could sue you for saying that?" Why is it that these children assume they can make others pay for their indiscretions but there is no retribution for their wrongdoing? Nature or nurture - what have they been taught? How can someone act like a n** yet get offended when called out on it? We know this happens too often - think O.J. Simpson, Rodney King, Michael Vick, Plaxico Burris - just to name a few. And there are some non-black n**s too (Blagojevich). If this is what we constantly show our children, why do we expect their behavior to be any different? Everybody is so overjoyed that we have a Black president but after what just happened today, we still have far to go. I've already spoken about Black males and President-elect Obama's supposed influence on them. That is too much weight to place on one man's shoulders; Black fathers - show yourselves!

I'm sure I've said more than a mouthful and some of you probably wish I'd choke on these words. Well, I don't have any children (and I'm not looking for any either) but I do feel that it's my responsibility along with every other able-bodied adult to encourage our young people to lead productive lives. It takes a village.

The stars (**) were placed in the quote so that you sensitive people out there wouldn't be offended. I think it's ridiculous because it only draws attention to the word we aren't supposed to use. I'll blog about that another time.

Happy New Year

After being ill during the Holiday season, I have a slightly different outlook on 2009. My new motto is MAKE IT HAPPEN. No point in trying, intending, scheduling, looking forward to or any other "positive euphemisms that make us feel like we're making progress. I don't plan to make progress this year - I'm gonna make like NIKE and JUST DO IT! I'll update you on the 101 List later this week. Hope you enjoyed your holidays and Make It a Great Year!