Sunday, May 22, 2022

Year of Jubilee

 I'm reached a milestone, 50 years old. I'm officially old enough for an AARP discount and to consider myself middle-aged.  I believe I can now be a cougar.  People are often shocked and amazed when I tell them how old I am and I'm both flattered and confused.  I mean, what should 50 look like exactly.  I've gained a few extra pounds (that I call Covid weight), have dark circles to cover, walk a little slower and need glasses to read small print.  Not sure if these things are age-related but they feel that way to me.   But I recently had an epiphany - I don't look like what I've been through.

The bruises formed by the lies told on me are not visible.  The scars left from misjudgment and pigeon-holing are under the skin.  You can't see the wounds from the stabs in the back or the gouges in my heart where my love and trust were taken and not returned.  The kicks and scrapes and stings and slaps of life haven't killed my joy and that oozes to the surface from deep inside.

I have reached this milestone in tears - reflecting on where I have been, what I have done, what I have been through, what I still wish to attain, where I want to go and what I wish to still experience.  There are those who I carry with me in my spirit, some who will be with me on my journey and some who will be left behind.  

This is my year of Jubilee - my year of recovery and restoration. 


Monday, March 28, 2022

The Slap Heard Around the World

I’m shocked and appalled.  I have been a Will Smith fan for quite some time.  I have also been a Chris Rock fan for quite some time.  I watch the Oscars annually - except this year.   Hearing about this incident was disheartening on so many levels.

Comedians Can No Longer Make Jokes

Sadly, in this era of Cancel Culture, it’s a difficult line of work to be in.  Everyone is offended by everything.  That said, I can speak for myself - having no knowledge of Jada’s hair issues - it was a joke.  Black woman are almost always seen hair first, so that it was likely jarring to be the brunt of a hair joke.  We have all been there at some point.  Assaulting a comedian, however, is just not funny.

Protect Black Women

Say you don’t understand what we mean when we say this rather than trying to use this slogan to justify this overreaction.  There was absolutely nothing to protect.  His wife was not in any danger – physically, mentally, spiritually, financially.  Her reputation/virtue was not under attack.  Using this is slogan is overreaching at best and condoning bad behavior at worst.

Place and Time

As a lover of confrontation, I definitely understand (and wholeheartedly enforce) the theory of catching these hands upon request.  However, there are times when discretion proves to be the better part of valor.  This was such an instance.  It was neither the time nor the place to address an infraction, if deemed so.  Dare I say, this was the same woman who called for a boycott of the Oscars years ago.  Maybe we have forgotten about that.  She wanted the awards show to be "blacker."  Happy?

Mental Health

I will never vilify Will.  He has been dragged for years - for not cussing, for not having a bad reputation, for his marital business, for his children.  I do not envy his position in life; it comes with the territory.  I often wish he had a better support system.  Apparently, someone has veered away from the daily affirmation - "what happens in this house..."  

In my opinion, this is what mental breakdown looks like. How much is too much for one person to endure?  We point and laugh, make memes of our Black men – Kanye, Will, Bill, R. Kelly - knowing they exhibit the same behaviors as some of the men in our lives...that we keep quiet about...that we don't want anyone to know about.  Men we are ashamed of.  Men we wish would change.  Men we speak about in hushed tones and hope someone somewhere will "talk some sense into him."  When will it end? 

Recently, we all mourned and posted hashtags regarding suicide and mental health following the death of Miss USA Cheslie Kryst. We should probably take a moment to see the seriousness, pause for the yellow flags before they turn red and DO something.  We must get involved because He is you and She is me.  We are NOT ok.

I’m thrilled that Will won an Oscar and against a powerhouse like Denzel.  May his latter days be better…