Disclaimer: I do NOT have children. If you believe a person
has to be a parent in order to “understand,” you are not only wrong but also
will gain nothing by reading this post.
I was bothered by the news of the little boy who fell into
the gorilla cage. I was saddened by the
news of the child snatched by the alligator.
In both cases my initial question was where were the parents? It’s a very natural reaction since, for most
animals, the parents care for and protect the children.
The outcry in the media following the initial incident
resulted in the vilification of the parents.
It was painful to watch.
Ironically, the second set of parents received an outpouring of
sympathy. My initial thought was
because of the death of the second boy.
Others feel it’s racially motivated.
Time has taught us that as minorities we are viewed and handled
differently, even by the media in disastrous situations. It’s a fact of American life, so I took it
with a grain of salt.
That is, until the articles about “parent shaming” began to
surface. The frustration and outrage
began to build when I read about the differences between the attacks . But my blood began to boil when I read the open letter.
Who decided it was wrong to question parents when a child
has been abused or harmed? Or is it only a problem when the child dies? No, that can’t be right. Have you seen the questioning a parent goes
through when their child dies of SIDS? We didn’t feel bad about questioning
Susan Smith or JonBenet Ramsey’s parents (just to name a few).
Again, it’s human nature to ask questions, to seek
understanding, when something tragic happens.
Even as adults, people often point to our childhood and our parents when
we do something questionable. What makes
today’s hot topic parents any different?
The one article suggested that we support the grieving
parents. Sure we can do that. We grieved
along with the parents of Sandy Hook and Virginia Tech. My heart goes out to these parents as well. I can’t begin to assume to know the pain of
losing a child, but I can acknowledge the depth of such a loss and therefore
grieve alongside them. That does not
negate, in any way, their lack of caution in this incident.
I don’t believe that every parent intentionally sends their
children into harm’s way. But there are
those who turn a blind eye, then want to cry victim when something
happens. You’ve been at the mall, and
seen the child who climbs on things and pulls on things, and you hope and pray nothing bad happens to him. Meanwhile his parent is texting or shopping
and ignoring his shenanigans. But when
something happens we want to blame corporations and even God forbid, onlookers
for what we didn’t do.
Yes I do understand that things happen in the blink of an
eye. More reason for the “village.” Yes, even without children, I can and do watch
out for little ones around me. Lord
knows I don’t wish any harm upon anyone’s offspring. We must be held accountable. It takes all of us to look out for our
children. I was upset with the onlookers
at the zoo for capturing the moment on your phone instead of finding a way to
help.
Time out for placing responsibility in the back seat. We let the government assume their medical
and schooling expenses, blame teachers if they don’t learn and blame doctors if
they don’t get better. We blame
television and social media if they are angry or socially inept or even “bullied.”
Enough is enough.
We live in a culture where the media can sway how we should
and shouldn’t feel, for many of us. What’s
reported and the light it’s reported in can sometimes cause the reaction
necessary. All too often we don’t take
the time to consider the facts for ourselves because we’re too busy getting
caught up in sound bites and bits and pieces of stories. We don’t do our homework prior to sounding
off about the issue of the day. That is
what needs to stop. Holding parents
accountable for the actions they do or do not take when it comes to the safety
of their children is a wonderful and necessary practice. And I for one will not be shamed into not
doing it.
One article mentioned Adam Walsh and Baby Jessica. Instances where parents were doing the right
thing and tragedy struck. Maybe if we
re-institute accountability in our homes and everyday lives, we won’t have such insecure
children who feel that mass murder will make them whole. But that’s fodder for another post.
