Alabama or Auburn (part 1)

I know you're wondering why I'm writing about football but bear with me.  Upon moving to this great state, I was asked, Alabama or Auburn.  Of course I responded with the blank stare.  Once I was told that they were referring to football, I responded with "oh I don't DO football" and was met with the blank stare.  You would think this is the Pepsi vs. Coke challenge the way people continuously ask this question.  I mean is it that serious? Like it's FB or G+ or Android vs. iPhone. C'mon people! This isn't the NFL or anything. I mean, I'm a diehard REDSKINS - or whatever they decide to change their name to - fan for LIFE no matter where I ever move to even though I rarely watch the games.  But we're talking college football here...I thought that only mattered to ... um... college kids and NFL scouts.  But not in BAMA.  Football REALLY matters here.  I'm already outcast enough because I don't have an accent, I'm not married and I don't have children.  Southerners aren't sure I'm a real person.  All of this aside, I've got to choose Alabama or Auburn. So here goes.

Round 1 - Names
I like Auburn because it's not already a state, a factor that I feel works against Alabama.  Coming from the Nation's Capital, I feel I can be biased in this way. Also, Auburn is close to Aubrey and Autumn and Audrey -- names I've always admired.

Alabama 0  Auburn 1

Round 2 - Colors
I HATE red.  Yep. Always have.  It reminds me of blood--hate that too.  You know I'm squeamish.  But OMG! I totally adore some houndstooth.  Would put it on my car if that weren't so...bama.  I love orange - it's my second favorite color.  It's sunny and bright and makes me smile.  And pair it with blue and it's great all around.  But even together they don't beat houndstooth.  This is going to be hard so no one wins here.

Alabama 0  Auburn 0

Round 3 - Mascots
Elephants are...well, they're elephants.  Large and rough and well, it doesn't put me in a playful, joyful mood even with the images of Dumbo and Horton.  Tigers, on the other hand, are my favorite animals.  I always loved Tony the Tiger and I was a Tiger when I rocked the Black and Gold (Towson University), so I can still be a Tiger -- with different colored stripes.

Alabama 0  Auburn 1

Round 4 - Family Ties
*heavy sigh* My sister is an Alabama fan.  No clue why and I'm not asking.  The real question is do I side with her to keep the peace?  For one, that's not really my style.  Not to mention, just the fact that I have to be "into" football is reason enough to cheer for the opponents.  Also, choosing Auburn would remind me of growing up with the Redskins/Cowboys rivalry in our home.  Ahhhh, those were the days. Besides, even the Civil War divided families right?

Alabama 0  Auburn 1

Round 5 - Cougar Options
These are college kids?  Legal, adult-aged, college males?  Hmmm...which team has more cuties?  I'm not a fan of the "football" body type.  You know what I mean ladies -- the sloping forehead, thick neck, broad chest, big middle, can't put his arms down, crack showing on the field, waddle walking dudes that grunt instead of talk.  You know, the Refrigerator man lookalikes.  I prefer the little ones - running backs and wide receivers (recent research has helped with the jargon).  So, I have to check out which team has more drool-ability. In the meantime, I will call this one a draw.

Alabama 1  Auburn 1

I got a feeling this can go on and on: How many quarters in a football game?  Obvioulsy, I have some researching to do.  I mean, I guess I should include some more serious factors like player stats and coach information.  But that would make me boring.  I like my way better.  Stay tuned - from what I hear, football season is coming.

An Epiphany

Nothing quite shakes me up like death.  I mean, I understand it's a part of life and it's necessary, but as I get older I reflect more each time someone near me suffers the loss of a family member.  I begin to think of my own family, the ups and downs, the wisecracks and evil eyes, the whispers and yells, the phone calls and Facebook posts, the pictures -- oh so many pictures -- the births and the illnesses, but most of all that we're still together on this side of heaven.  It's a beautiful thing and something I'm sure others wish for from time to time.  So I hope that for all of us, and all of you reading this, you cherish the family that you have left.  No reason to hang heavy heads at funerals or to sob late into the night for words that were unspoken or for those you wish you could take back.  No one will be left without a hug or I love you or an "if only..."
What if you weren't the one crying on the front row, but the one in the casket itself?