Say What? -- Laid Back

All too often, people say things without really understanding what they mean. And based on cultural definitions, they regularly become catchphrases. Some catchphrases are silly when you think about them.  For instance, laid back.

Sure, to most, it connotes a cool demeanor.  It leads one to believe that the person labeled such is mild-mannered and even-tempered.  It does not lend to such thoughts as ambitious, rambunctious, or passionate.  I prefer the denotation.

Laid Back is a two word phrase.  Let's take each word separately. Laid is the past tense of lay and has about 27 definitions (definition), all of which are rather passive.  The object is being acted upon.  My favorites are to a) knock or beat down, b) set, place or apply and c) to bury.  Interesting right?  Back is a noun, a verb and sometimes an adjective (definition).  It can mean the rear portion of the body serving to support, to cause to move backward, and/or situated at or near the rear.

Maybe it's me but taken separately, these terms seem to have a negative connotation.  I wouldn't want to use them to describe myself, especially if I'm attempting to make a great first impression.  Hopefully, the meshing of these two terms will have a sort of oxymoronic effect in the same vein as "seriously funny" and "unbiased opinion."  This is clearly confusing. lol

Ironically enough, laid back is defined as relaxed and free from stress (definition).  Ehh...not too bad I presume.  That knowledge still gives me pause and causes the connotation to morph.  I'm now thinking someone is lackadaisical, apathetic and weak minded. According the Urban Dictionary(definition), I'm not too far off the mark.  May not be the truth behind each person's use of the phrase, but perception is reality right?  We live by our stereotypes because they are built around some small amount of truth.  I just hope a pause comes prior to spouting out this term.  Next time you hear someone use it, give them a "say what?"

I Learned to Knit

It's been on my To Do list for quite awhile and time and space afforded me the chance to learn.  Free knitting lessons were offered at Hoover Library, so I signed up, marched into Michael's to purchase my materials and gave it my undivided attention.  I was thrilled to find the teacher learned from her grandmother and taught her son, a 20-something who was assisting, and that the students were a group of mixed ages and races.  It felt just right.

I got the beginning stages down pretty quickly, even though neither my confidence nor rhythm matched my skill.  But the teacher, and her young assistant were so encouraging that I felt I could knit an entire wardrobe by the time class was over.  Learning something new is always exhilarating; learning to create something with your own two hands is...invigorating and undoubtedly salubrious.  I feel like a superhero -- KnitWoman!  I'm going to knit my own cape LOL!

Afterwards I attended Purl @ the Plaza, an event that brings artists together every second Saturday.  By artists, I mean people who knit, crochet, tat, crewel, embroider, needlepoint and cross-stitch.  There was a fabulous mixture of women - and one man lounging on a sofa reading a book), door prizes and exchanges of ideas.  So many different projects were going and folks were quick and ready to discuss them.  Once settled into our respective projects, other conversations began.  I learned about grandchildren living abroad, audio-books, vacation destinations, elder care, romance and so much more.  All of this added an extra layer of exuberance to this experience making it a grand day.  I can hardly wait until next month.

In the meantime, would you like a hat or scarf?

Perspectives

One day a father and his rich family took his young son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" Very good, Dad!" "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Yeah!" "And what did you learn?" The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon. When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless. His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!" Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude toward life, you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You can have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc., but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!” ...Author Unknown

This Christmas

 My efforts to duplicate a unique Christmas tree ends with a hybrid and a wonderful tale. The story of this Christmas begins with last Christmas (2014) since it was my first in Alabama.  In short, I had to work and was lonely and alone…yes, both…and decorations were sparse.  But as the old year grew into the new year, southerners began to grow on me and some meaningful relationships have blossomed.  As a result of great planning and timing, I was gifted a tree by one of the coolest nurses I know.  Of course, my creative spirit was fed when I gazed upon the "book tree" on Pinterest.  In an effort to surprise the only other nerd on the planet who really gets me, my sister, I decided to construct our very own book tree to ring in the holidays.  

It hadn't dawned on me that I'd have to group the books according to depth to keep the rings of the tree level.  After several hours of emptying countless boxes of books while clearing the DVR, I realized that this was going to take a very long time.  I was only half done after an entire day…of course I had a lot of long breaks.  I was so frustrated and desperate to find a faster finish.  In a moment of clarity, I remembered the "gifted tree" with lights and managed to combine the book foundation and the lighted tree.  I think it's an awesome merge of the old and the new, a wonderful way to be traditional yet forward thinking. This paradox fits me.

All in all, going into the Christmas season, I reflect on the traditional things I've known and the way I'm forging into adulthood...even though I said I'd never grow up.  I'm grateful for each day that I'm given and those that are a part of my life in every way.  And as a silver lining -- I won't be working on Christmas!

The Little Things

I recently called my mother and heard "little people" in the background, only to find that she was in the company of my 3 year old nephew and 2 year old niece.  Of course, I needed to speak with them and my mother handed my nephew the phone. He immediately said, "Hello, I'm Thomas.  What's your name?"  I was stunned into silence, a huge grin spread across my face and tears welled in my eyes as I thought "wow he's so grown up."  I introduced myself but he informed me that he couldn't hear me and I should turn my phone up louder.  The phone was passed to my niece who, regardless of who could hear and who could not, proceeded to talk my ear off in a fusion of real and nonsense words.  Those brief conversations made my day.

Until I checked my online dating inbox.  I was inundated with tons of "hi beautiful" and "WYD" and "call me (insert phone number here)."  Not one -- NOT A SINGLE ONE -- took the time to introduce himself.  My 3 year old nephew already understands the importance of it.  What has changed for men of 40+ years?

Yes, I've heard the sob stories and grievances about the sites -- you never know if someone is "real," it's hard to get responses, you can't get to know someone online, I don't get on this site often, I'm better at face to face interactions -- but I maintain that the ability to communicate transcends media.  I'm capable of relating to people via phone, text, Skype, email, and of course face-to-face.  And I'm no superwoman.

I do realize their are levels to any "-ship" (friendship, partnership, relationship), but each begins somewhere.  If you sign into a website or download an app, create a profile, upload a pic (some of which need to be deleted, but that's another blog), then take the time to have a bit of introductory discussion on the site. [Note: I don't have to say that this is my opinion since this is my blog and it should be "understood" that anything said here is my opinion.]

So, what's a girl to do?  Well, the adult males seem to have lost their way. While I wait for them to find themselves, I'll talk to the kids.

Something New

I found one of those cool websites that list all the sights you should see in a particular city and this one had a book store on it.  I had to ask myself "did you make this list" because it seemed a bit too nerdy for the typical sights and sounds of cities.  You know, they usually include sports venues, eateries, some music-related places and bars.  Well, what do you know but I actually found the ONE list in probably the ENTIRE world that put a bookstore on it.  So, the book junkie in me got excited and planned a trip.

And boy was it worth it!!

While I thoroughly enjoy the new age sterility of Barnes and Noble -- it's clearly defined sections, neatly arranged shelving, spacious aisles with cozy reading nooks, ambient tones and don't forget the snacks and drinks offered in the cafe -- the organized chaos of a small bookstore is euphoric, to put it nicely.  Just imagine an enlarged knapsack stuffed with great finds and placed in the middle of an otherwise normal downtown city block.  It's called Reeds and there is so much more than meets the eye in this quaint little bookstore.

Don't expect a cup of coffee or a tofu muffin or the latest in electronic gadgetry. Instead, dream of walking into some distant friend's distant relative's basement and it's overflowing with items from the past 100 years or more. And there to guide you through it all is Santa Claus.  Well, he kinda looked like Santa to me since I felt like it was Christmas and all.  Jim Reed himself does kinda resemble St. Nick in a circa 2015 way.  From LIFE magazines to keychains, everything you can think of -- and some you can't -- is inside There were records and 45's; there are dress patterns; there are pictures of...I'm not quite sure who those people were;  there are posters -- from movies, of movies, of movie stars, of other celebrities; and of course, there are books.  I felt I was in Dr. Seuss' world:

There are books in crannies and books in nooks, wordy books, picture books, small, medium and over-sized books, everywhere one does or does not look there are

books, books, books!  

To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement of epic proportions.  But I will return -- on a day when I have no other obligations and a snack nearby, several dollars stashed and in jeans and sneakers.  And now, for the pictures (because I'm out of words).

Street View

Store Windows

One Aisle and 45s

Patterns

Cliff Notes

Happy New Year

At the turn of another year, I take the time to reflect on what I have gleaned from my experiences during the Earth’s latest rotation around the sun.

Family Comes First
My circle has not been broken, but for the grace of God.  We've had expansions and close-calls, twists and bends and a it probably looks more like a balloon animal from the circus but it's unbroken.

Friendship Redefines
No matter the place, the time or the situation, friends are consistent.  I'm still learning to be a better friend, from my friends.   New Friends Rock An open mind is the most attractive quality in a new friend.  Glad to say I've found a few...and some were already there.  

Moving (out of state) is Challenging
It's also fun and different and annoying and frustrating.  But most of all, it's given me new struggles and challenges and triumphs and smiles.

Managing Money
No matter how much, or how little, you have, it can definitely be done.  Goals can be achieved, To-Do's can be checked off, and you can save a few dollars for a rainy day.  It may not get you all the way to Oz (lol), but you can purchase a pretty umbrella and sing in the rain.

Reflection Is Therapeutic
I remember those who've transitioned, recalling smiles and laughs and sometimes shedding tears.  I'm grateful that I have the disposition God has given me because I don't feel anything has been left unsaid.  

During this next year, I have goals (see the 101 list lol) and plans and aspirations.  You'll hear about most of them -- that's one of my goals too -- and I'm sure I'll add others as I learn new things.  Don't be mistaken, this past year hasn't been the smoothest I've ever had, but I was taught that in order to appreciate the sunshine you've got to endure some rain. I do enjoy being 40 and love round numbers so I'll be 40 a little while longer.  I'm smiling as I jiggle into this new year.