Stupid Question - Why Are You Single?

We were all taught that the only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.  This is a lie.  My apologies to the moms and teachers everywhere, but some questions really should not be asked.  I have an entire list of them. But let’s take this slowly – one post at a time.

Today’s Stupid Question is…

Why are you single?

There are several ways to answer stupid questions.  I've patented a few of the following responses.

The Dumb Look and Other Facial Cues

Responding to stupid questions with blank stares, raised eyebrows, shaking of the head or the deep sigh usually makes the asker think about what was said.  Unfortunately, today’s society doesn’t believe their questions to be stupid, so they press for an answer.  As a result, you may need to step up the response.

Stupid Answer

Sometimes responding in-kind can move you past this conversational faux pas.
Responding with "because I’m not taken/in a relationship/married", etc. may prove beneficial in this way.  Pairing this type of statement with a dumb look or other facial cue should garner a chuckle and lead to other topics of discussion.  More often than not, it is followed up with “I can’t believe you’re single.”  This is such a sad comment because it leaves no where for the conversation to go.  How do I help you with your disbelief?  That's rhetorical, but ask just to see what happens.

Scientific Answer

I love this one the best because I am sarcastic (in case you didn't know) and it takes a certain type of man to catch on or to enjoy and continue communicating after a response of this sort.  I like those kinda guys (hint).  Here's a sample:

To be single means that I’m only one (not one of several), unmarried or un-involved in a stable sexual relationship.  I could be involved in an unstable, nonsexual relationship (platonic) or one of several in a sexual relationship (FWB) which would most likely still render me single.  I choose to think of myself as an individual person, not a part of a pair.  But your question was why which leads me to think more deeply about my personal situation in terms of this definition and how to apply it appropriately.  To that end, I am single because I choose not to deal with philandering, financial squandering, and verbal abuse.  I've decided to take some time to get to know myself and the things that I enjoy; I wish to get past the pains I've had before adding the joys and pains of another person, for now.

Keep it Light

Using some of the above responses will often end with name-calling – i.e. angry, bitter, etc.  Ironic how you're viewed as the one with the problem when it was actually the stupid question that started it all huh?  Yet, to keep from having to deal with this pain, you can keep it light.  A simple “I’m waiting for you” or “the right person hasn't come along” can keep the conversation moving but it could also trigger other insecurities in the person who asked.  Take your chances dealing with that.

The non-answer is always an answer.  Have you spoken with someone who simply continued with the conversation as if a question had never been asked?  That’s the non-answer.  I’m not good at that one though.  Not to mention, that today’s society feels that every question asked demands an answer and will quote “Ask and ye shall receive.”  But that is another blog.  There are more stupid questions so stay tuned.